All Unrecommended Movies

Showing reviews of movies you should avoid unless you're a big fan of the genre or like watching bad movies (like I do). Each review is scored on my 4-point rating system.

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poster for Deep Blue Sea
2025-01-11
Watch #1
Released: 1999
Plot wise, itโ€™s like a really wet Jurassic Park? I didnโ€™t love the really slow first half and unremarkable characters. Some good action pieces and some good cast members though.
poster for Our Little Secret
2024-12-07
Watch #1
Released: 2024
A decent premise that was never quite fun enough to be truly fun. Wasnโ€™t much christmas magic. Chenoweth is great as always and itโ€™s nice to see Lohan doing things again.
poster for Fame
2024-11-29
Watch #1
Released: 1980
Exhausting theater kid energy. Had some interesting perspectives on everyone's journey through their art and the paths that can take. But, felt disjoint, with too many characters. It also just seemes like drama for drama's sake- they just kept throwing bad things at these kids and everyone seemed miserable. It's ending was especially unsatisfying- it's a song where the ensemble pretends like everyone is fine when all evidence from the film points to the exact opposite. Whole thing was a real slog.
poster for Hot Frosty
2024-11-28
Watch #1
Released: 2024
It's a fun premise and a decent cast, but the lack of chemistry and an odd but not-fun performance out of Milligan left us out in the cold.
poster for The Kentucky Fried Movie
2024-11-16
Watch #1
Released: 1977
Has some good gags, but the pacing felt off. Some segments are dense, but others are more air than joke. Most of the time, it felt silly for silly's sake. You can see the inspirations for Airplane, but it definitely wasn't there yet.
poster for When We First Met
2024-10-10
Watch #1
Released: 2018
Well-tread premise that has a few tricks up its sleeve. Ok performances and a predictable plot mostly let it down, but it picks up some steam in the back half.
poster for Elemental
2024-09-08
Watch #1
Released: 2023
Has some really touching stories about the immigrant experience and family dynamics, but the whole thing is let down by its otherwise uninspired writing. Absolutely stunning graphics though, and some charming worldbuilding.
poster for X-Men: The Last Stand
2024-08-12
Watch #2
Released: 2006
Has some emotional payoff from the last couple of movies, but is significantly less fun than them. A fitting climax, but leaves somethign to be desired.
poster for Batman
2024-07-14
Watch #1
Released: 1989
Sort of a fascinating movie. Felt longer than it was. I generally liked Keaton, but I didn't feel like we got much of him compared to Nicholson. Felt totally unfocused, bouncing between big action set pieces and goofy joker dances. Art direction was pretty good, but won't go down as a better Batman
poster for Argylle
2024-06-26
Watch #1
Released: 2024
Crowded cast let down by clumsy writing and uncanny CGI. Not as bad as everyone says it is, but not great.
poster for Peter Pan
2024-05-26
Watch #1
Released: 1953
Defenitely deserves its cultural sensitivity warning preroll. Story is decent and bits are funny, but largely fell flat for me. That said, I liked the orchestration, especially how they timed it with the action.
poster for Uncharted
2024-04-27
Watch #2
Released: 2022
A decent enough romp, but a little too joyless for my tastes. Other movies have done adventure better since and there wasnโ€™t enough fun tying it to the games.
poster for Freelance
2024-04-26
Watch #1
Released: 2023
The most remarkable thing this movie did was star both John Cena and Alison Brie yet be so boring and un-funny. The dictator was sort of the emotional core of the whole thing, which leads to some complicated messaging.
poster for The Banshees of Inisherin
2024-02-29
Watch #1
Released: 2022
Some steller performances held back by just the slowest and lowest stakes narritive Iโ€™ve seein in a while. Disappointed, as Iโ€™ve loved most of McDonaghโ€™s other work. This wasnโ€™t a dark comedy, it was justโ€ฆ dark and boring and melancholy.
poster for The Marvels
2024-02-13
Watch #1
Released: 2023
Scattered and fun. The cute parts are great, but all of the marvel fighting felt pretty boring. Getting hard to keep everything straight.
poster for Lift
2024-01-29
Watch #1
Released: 2024
Pretty dumb with the occasional cool set pieces. Hart gets carried by a better supporting cast and there's some decent heisting.
Pretty dumb, but not a terrible watch. I think their comedy works more in short form than long, but there are some good bits.
poster for The Out-Laws
2024-01-12
Watch #1
Released: 2023
Fun concept, but quickly devolves into a run-of-the-mill action comedy. Pretty good cast, but didnโ€™t really do it for me.
poster for Christmas with a View
2023-12-27
Watch #1
Released: 2018
Good natured, but pretty boring
poster for Holiday in the Vineyards
2023-12-26
Watch #1
Released: 2023
Not without its charms, but itโ€™s remarkably the exact same movie as California Christmas? And very wine-y.
poster for Holiday in the Wild
2023-12-26
Watch #1
Released: 2019
Not very christmas-y. Some nice elephant protection messaging, but remarkably lacking in any further charisma or interesting (or even funny) plot
poster for Dolly Parton's Christmas on the Square
2023-12-11
Watch #1
Released: 2020
There are bits of it that work (the cast, some music) and a lot that doesnโ€™t (sort of a bonkers, caricature of a plot). Not a terrible watch, but not a great one.
poster for Christmas Wedding Planner
2023-12-09
Watch #1
Released: 2020
Real stinker of a movie. Boring, uncompelling.
poster for Best. Christmas. Ever!
2023-12-09
Watch #1
Released: 2023
Had some interesting ideas but wasnโ€™t good enough to be good or quite dumb enough to be so-good-itโ€™s-bad
poster for A California Christmas: City Lights
2023-12-08
Watch #1
Released: 2021
Certainly more christmasy than the first, and with better characters, but itโ€™s not _fun_ bad yet. Just like, fine.
poster for A California Christmas
2023-12-07
Watch #1
Released: 2020
Bits of it were funny and charming, but it mostly fell pretty flag. It also wasnโ€™t very Christmas-y for a Christmas movie?
poster for The Little Mermaid
2023-11-04
Watch #1
Released: 2023
This move is largely very pretty and the music is pretty good. But, if you remake a movie, you have to change and/or improve it. This remake negleected to do that- itโ€™s actually remakably identical to the original with CGI instead of hand-drawn animation. Some bits are better, but others are worse. Hard to see why they bothered.
poster for The House with a Clock in Its Walls
2023-10-28
Watch #1
Released: 2018
Had its moments, but was mostly forgettable.
poster for Goosebumps
2023-10-22
Watch #1
Released: 2015
Had itโ€™s funny bits (and JB is great as always), but annoying characters and a weak plot didnโ€™t do it for me.
poster for Barbarian
2023-10-15
Watch #1
Released: 2022
Extremely unsettling and creepy. Didnโ€™t have any of the cleverness of parody I was hoping it would. Certainly an effective movie, but not one I enjoyed watching.
poster for Friday the 13th
2023-10-13
Watch #1
Released: 1980
Just dreadfully boring. Extremely horny for no real reason. A modicum of plot right at the end, but slow and pointless otherwise.
poster for Dave Made a Maze
2023-10-07
Watch #1
Released: 2017
It had extremely strong art direction, but unfortunately didn't have the writing to support it. It had such cool sets but everything else fell flat.
poster for Haunted Mansion
2023-10-04
Watch #1
Released: 2023
Decently spooky, but felt like it went too many directions. Some heardfelt bits, some scary bits, some funny bits. But just not enough of any one thing. Awesome cast though.
poster for Director by Night
2023-10-01
Watch #1
Released: 2022
Felt like a cute family movie. Unfortunately, we donโ€™t know these people. Thought it would be closer to Assembed, the marvel behind-the-scenes documentaries.
poster for The Lion King
2023-09-30
Watch #1
Released: 2019
A movie that simply didnโ€™t need to happen. The cast was good but everything just felt lifeless by comparison. A lot of the songs we were worse too.
poster for The Machine
2023-09-28
Watch #1
Released: 2023
Charming in its own way, but also pretty dumb.
poster for The Lion King II: Simba's Pride
2023-09-25
Watch #1
Released: 1998
Light and sort of dumb but had some nice songs. Definitely a step down from the previous films.
poster for Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
2023-09-18
Watch #2
Released: 2008
Some fun bits, but didnโ€™t really pull us in like the others.
poster for Grandma's Boy
2023-09-12
Watch #1
Released: 2006
It's got a little heart buried in there, but is largely dated. A lot of the writing is gross and doesn't hold up, but there are a couple of funny bits. It's inconsistent overall.
poster for No Exit
2023-09-12
Watch #1
Released: 2022
Tense, but felt rushed and without heart. Pretty faithful adaptation, but I didn't get much from it.
poster for Meg 2: The Trench
  • ๐Ÿฟ Watched in Theater
2023-08-12
Watch #1
Released: 2023
Pretty stupid and fun, but that's basically what we're here for.
poster for Magic Mike's Last Dance
2023-07-31
Watch #1
Released: 2023
This movie didnโ€™t know what it was trying to be. We were back to the high-art dramady of the first one when all we wanted was the pitch-perfect-but-strippers that was the second one.
poster for Triangle of Sadness
2023-07-24
Watch #1
Released: 2022
Had some interesting moments, but took forever to get anywhere
poster for Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania
2023-05-23
Watch #1
Released: 2023
Just sort of boring? Lots of CGI. Good cast and some ok emotional bits, but the plot itself didn't seem like it went anywhere.
poster for Ant-Man
2023-05-22
Watch #2
Released: 2015
no additional notes, see rating and/or other watches.
poster for Quest for Camelot
2023-05-08
Watch #2
Released: 1998
no additional notes, see rating and/or other watches.
poster for The Great Muppet Caper
2023-04-23
Watch #1
Released: 1981
Fairly charming, but the story wasnโ€™t quiet there when compared to the other muppet stuff. Not enough heisting.
poster for The Rescuers Down Under
2023-04-15
Watch #1
Released: 1990
Pretty childish and not especially australian, but there are some neat animals and a decent villian.
poster for Pitch Perfect 2
2023-03-24
Watch #2
Released: 2015
Unfocused and tread a lot of ground from the first one.
poster for The Rundown
2023-02-28
Watch #1
Released: 2003
Pretty weak overall, but it had its moments. Pretty imbalanced between the treasure hunting and the pure action (it didnโ€™t know what it wanted to be). Pretty dated, too.
poster for High School Musical 2
2023-01-06
Watch #1
Released: 2007
Music is less memorable, characters are more caroonishly ridiculous
poster for Star Trek Beyond
2022-12-30
Watch #2
Released: 2016
Too much action and not enough character development. Decently funny though. Wish I enjoyed it more.
poster for I Believe in Santa
2022-12-25
Watch #1
Released: 2022
Came off a little preachy, but I enjoyed the premise well enough. Weak cast, but a light enough watch.
poster for The Holiday Calendar
2022-12-22
Watch #1
Released: 2018
Cute premise, but didnโ€™t really go anywhere. Minimal character development, minimal jokes.
poster for Christmas Catch
2022-12-17
Watch #1
Released: 2018
Just dreadful. Writing, most of the acting, and the plot were just bottom barrel.
poster for A Christmas Prince: The Royal Baby
2022-12-15
Watch #1
Released: 2019
Not as stupidly offensive as some of the other ones, but still pretty bad.
poster for Scotland, PA
2022-11-25
Watch #1
Released: 2001
An ok adaptation that didn't really lean into its setting. Some nice performances, but sort of an empty script.
poster for Vesper
2022-11-09
Watch #1
Released: 2022
Was incredibly slow. Not particularly beautiful. Everyone looked weird and nothing really happened.
poster for Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed
2022-10-23
Watch #1*
Released: 2004
Had its charming moments, but was a little too childish for my liking.
poster for Nope
2022-09-15
Watch #1
Released: 2022
Great performances and cinematography, but a lackluster plot and pacing. Definitely a step outside of his usual, and the weakest of his 3.
poster for Top Gun
2022-08-26
Watch #1
Released: 1986
Honestly pretty boring. No one learned anything. 15 minutes of plot spread over 90 minutes. Some nice montages and music, but otherwise not much going for it.
poster for Bride & Prejudice
2022-08-20
Watch #1
Released: 2004
An interesting take on the classic story. Lot of wistful staring and lackluster songs
poster for Once
2022-08-13
Watch #1
Released: 2007
Little slice of life about people maybe falling in love. Charming at bits, but overall pretty bland and low budget. Some ok songs, but it was fairly repetitive. Female lead was pretty weak, too.
poster for Nikki Glaser: Good Clean Filth
2022-07-16
Watch #1
Released: 2022
Had its moments, but was a little too gross.
poster for The Big Chill
2022-07-10
Watch #1
Released: 1983
Glacially slow, but a great cast.
poster for Sonic the Hedgehog 2
2022-06-14
Watch #1
Released: 2022
Had its moments, but failed to be more than a kids movie. Was needlessly childish and silly for too much time. I get it- that's the target audience. But it didn't have to be that way.
poster for The Girl Next Door
2022-06-12
Watch #1
Released: 2004
Had heart and a couple of great performances, but didnโ€™t really hit the plot notes that it was shooting for. Definitely cute in the end, but didnโ€™t feel like it had earned it.
poster for How Do You Know
2022-06-09
Watch #1
Released: 2010
Great cast and decent premise, but it didn't feel like it really went anywhere.
poster for Iliza Shlesinger: Unveiled
2022-06-08
Watch #1
Released: 2019
Had its moments, but I didn't find it as funny as some of her others.
poster for Good Luck Chuck
2022-05-18
Watch #1
Released: 2007
Most of it did not age well, but bits of it were very charming.
poster for Twilight
2022-05-17
Watch #1
Released: 2008
Pretty dumb, but an interesting look back at a very specific time in our history. Some neat designs and shots, but very weird color grading.
poster for The Bubble
2022-04-28
Watch #1
Released: 2022
Had a couple of very charming bits and an absolutely stacked cast, but really didnโ€™t go anywhere or have much substance worth writing home about. Definitely a miss.
poster for The Meg
2022-01-04
Watch #3
Released: 2018
no additional notes, see rating and/or other watches.
poster for Yearly Departed
2021-12-31
Watch #1
Released: 2021
A couple of good jokes, a couple of bad ones. Some cute bits, but didnโ€™t land for me.
poster for The Matrix Revolutions
2021-12-21
Watch #1
Released: 2003
Where the second one was bad, this one was mostly boring (with like, 2 good scenes).
poster for The Knight Before Christmas
2021-12-20
Watch #1
Released: 2019
Pretty dumb and a little wooden, but had a nice heart buried in there.
poster for The Matrix Reloaded
2021-12-18
Watch #1
Released: 2003
Either fighting or taking and nothing in between. Weak on themes. A couple of cool shots, but mostlyโ€ฆ worse than the first one.
poster for Eternals
  • ๐Ÿฟ Watched in Theater
2021-12-11
Watch #1
Released: 2021
It felt weirdly... disjoint and heartless? Plot threads were all over the place. Very pretty and cool fight choreo, but felt more like a DC movie
poster for Jungle 2 Jungle
2021-11-07
Watch #1
Released: 1997
Sort of saccarine and offensive at parts, but there were some sort of touching moments in there.
poster for Uncut Gems
2021-10-08
Watch #1
Released: 2019
Energetic and chaotic, but almost too much. Basically 2 hours of yelling. Great performances though.
poster for The Green Knight
2021-09-05
Watch #1
Released: 2021
Very Swedish. Slow and beautiful, but sorely lacking in like, plot motion.
poster for Yes, God, Yes
2021-08-14
Watch #1
Released: 2019
Great cast and performances. Interesting concept. But, more of a vibe than a plot. Didn't feel like it really went anywhere.
poster for The Tomorrow War
2021-07-03
Watch #1
Released: 2021
Pretty doofy and cheesy, but had a decent premise.
poster for Spy Kids 3-D: Game Over
2021-05-31
Watch #1
Released: 2003
This was a movie designed around 3D and CGI, neither of which aged well. The rest of the plot was weak, nothing was worthwhile.
poster for Spy Kids 2: The Island of Lost Dreams
2021-05-29
Watch #1*
Released: 2002
Has some of the charm of the first one and maybe a better cast, but it's a less coherent plot and is too cheesy.
poster for Silverado
2021-05-25
Watch #1
Released: 1985
Too many characters, dense plot, great cast, good music. Long.
poster for The Amazing Spider-Man 2
2021-05-17
Watch #1
Released: 2014
Lots of characters and they don't quite add up. Villain design was pretty gross, and not in a good way. There was some cool visual design though with slo-mo and Emma stone was good.
poster for Spider-Man 3
2021-05-12
Watch #1*
Released: 2007
It had some briefly compelling parts, but had way too many characters. The dancing scene is as bad as I remember.
poster for Shadow in the Cloud
2021-05-06
Watch #1
Released: 2021
Had some interesting cinematography and framing, but was sort of a mess.
poster for Home on the Range
2021-05-03
Watch #1
Released: 2004
Couple of good jokes and a good cast! But sort of nonsense otherwise. Forgettable music.
poster for The Harvey Girls
2021-05-02
Watch #1
Released: 1946
Sort of cute, very old-timey musical. Good cast, but a lot of the songs were duds.
poster for Jiu Jitsu
2021-04-13
Watch #1
Released: 2020
Some good fight choreo, but lots of bad CGI, characters, plot, and basically everything else.
poster for Rise of the Guardians
2021-04-04
Watch #1
Released: 2012
Neat enough world building, good cast. Rote story and mostly boring plot though. Cute enough for kids, but lacks staying power. Not really an Easter movie
poster for The Happytime Murders
2021-03-31
Watch #1
Released: 2018
Muppets being so bawdy was sort of funny, but it didn't really come together in a satisfying way. There were a couple of good puppet specific gags, but mostly wasted potential on a thin racism metaphor.
poster for Bees Make Honey
2021-03-13
Watch #1
Released: 2018
This one had a lot of potential but didn't quite land. Really interestingly shot, interspersed with good noir tropes and odd cutaways. Some ok characters and great costumes and set. But, story was lacking.
poster for Frozen II
2021-03-08
Watch #2
Released: 2019
Doesn't really hold up as a satisfying sequel. Some cute moments, an ok plot eventually, but a letdown after the first.
poster for Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer
2021-02-14
Watch #1
Released: 2007
Felt unfocused. Too many villains, too cheesy (even for this), ultimately a boring plot.
poster for Fantastic Four
2021-02-14
Watch #1*
Released: 2005
Actually pretty decent first half, but the fight scenes weren't great and the villain didn't hold up. Very mid 2000s movie.
poster for Yearly Departed
2021-01-07
Watch #1
Released: 2020
A multi-person stand up special set in a funeral home for 2020. Some bits were good, but it felt pretty flat
poster for Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
2021-01-05
Watch #1*
Released: 2007
It was good, but felt rushed. They cut it pretty far down and it ended abruptly. Good performances, especially Umbridge. Did well with what it put in, but felt a little empty. It would be another one I'd be lost by without the book.
poster for The Meg
2021-01-03
Watch #2
Released: 2018
Still real bad. Pretty unredeemable.
poster for Wonder Woman 1984
2020-12-25
Watch #1
Released: 2020
Absolute mess. Bad action scenes. Some cool design, but it was lost in sub-par writing and performances.
poster for Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
2020-12-23
Watch #1*
Released: 2005
This felt like a weaker movie- it left a lot of detail out to keep to the action scenes, which is understandable, but left the movie wanting. Superb performance from Tennant.
poster for FernGully: The Last Rainforest
2020-11-27
Watch #2
Released: 1992
Nice enough, but clearly not an animated classic. Pretty forgettable songs and erratic performances
poster for Daughters of the Dust
2020-11-27
Watch #1
Released: 1992
I understand that every movie isn't for me and this one definitely isn't. It felt like a fever dream where there are snippets of 8 plots, none of which are resolved.
poster for A Tree Grows in Brooklyn
2020-11-27
Watch #1
Released: 1945
If it were any slower, it would have been playing backwards. It had its moments, but it was largely very boring.
poster for Incredibles 2
2020-11-24
Watch #2
Released: 2018
Visually great, but story and character growth really weren't there, which was a disappointment after the first one.
poster for Cars 3
2020-11-24
Watch #1
Released: 2017
Really boring and uninteresting? Characters were fine but we don't get invested in anything. Great graphics, but really nothing else going for it.
poster for The Good Dinosaur
2020-11-23
Watch #1
Released: 2015
It's drop-dead gorgeous, but that's really all it has going for it. The story never clicks and it's the same few peril points over and over.
poster for Inside Out
2020-11-22
Watch #2
Released: 2015
Cute, good soundtrack. Ironically, doesn't hit the same emotional heights as some of the other Pixar movies.
poster for Brave
2020-11-18
Watch #1
Released: 2012
Cute, but unfocused. Little brothers were funny.
poster for Cars 2
2020-11-18
Watch #1
Released: 2011
Had its moments but it wasn't terribly compelling. I don't love Mater. There were some cool spy sections though, and it was drop dead gorgeous.
poster for Haywire
2020-11-02
Watch #1
Released: 2012
Hard to follow, no music, cool fight scenes and a good cast. Felt sort of... hollow?
poster for Oceans
2020-10-29
Watch #1
Released: 2010
Not a lot of narrative. Decent footage and narration, but there's better docs.
poster for The Witches of Eastwick
2020-10-27
Watch #1
Released: 1987
Like a worse beetlejuice, and I don't like beetlejuice. Great cast, but a nonsense story, gross stunts, and a couple of cute scenes.
poster for Scare Me
2020-10-26
Watch #1
Released: 2020
Really great performances, but not narratively satisfying. Bummer, because it's totally the sort of thing I would have expected to enjoy
poster for Midsommar
2020-10-22
Watch #1
Released: 2019
Great sound and camera work. Weird story that didn't feel great narratively. Paced pretty well though and plenty of very gross bits. There were some visual effects that made me sort of seasick
poster for Beetlejuice
2020-10-04
Watch #2
Released: 1988
There are bits of this I like, but a lot of it is crass and creepy in a way I don't enjoy.
poster for The Haunted Mansion
2020-10-01
Watch #1*
Released: 2003
Effects look surprisingly good! Jokes aren't great and the story doesn't have much going on, but it's not terrible.
poster for Mulan (2020)
2020-09-07
Watch #1
Released: 2020
It definitely had some cool action, but the story was uncompelling and the characters had basically no development. Also not a musical. Honestly would have been stronger if it was a standalone movie with no ties to the original. Nice representation in the cast though, so it has that going for it!
poster for Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey
2020-08-27
Watch #2
Released: 1991
Has some cute jokes, but none of the charm of the first one. Death is pretty funny, but I could leave the rest.
poster for Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
2020-08-23
Watch #1*
Released: 2008
Had it moments, but was mostly sort of boring
poster for Trainwreck
2020-08-12
Watch #2
Released: 2015
There's definitely some great jokes and scenes. Basically everyone but Amy Schumer is great. She doesn't come off as likable at all, indefinitely. Honestly a great cast.
poster for King Arthur: Legend of the Sword
2020-08-06
Watch #1
Released: 2017
Mostly bad, but had a couple of great Guy Ritchie scenes.
poster for Quest for Camelot
2020-08-04
Watch #1
Released: 1998
A couple of cute jokes, but mostly forgettable
poster for The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift
2020-07-27
Watch #1
Released: 2006
Truly dreadful. Clearly he wanted to make a Japanese crime movie but had to keep putting car scenes in. Totally unlikeable main character made it hard to root for anyone but Han. Who dies. What a mess.
poster for Fast & Furious 6
2020-07-26
Watch #1
Released: 2013
Kind of boring again. Lots of high octane action, but the plot itself was underwhelming. Actually some good emotional development with characters now that we've seen so dang many of these.
poster for Fast & Furious
2020-07-25
Watch #1
Released: 2009
These are becoming even more forgettable. This had a couple of good scenes drowned out by a bunch of forgettable ones. Very little character work.
poster for 2 Fast 2 Furious
2020-07-24
Watch #1
Released: 2003
This one is more of a mess. Not an unenjoyable one, but much worse dialogue and characters.
poster for Brewster's Millions
2020-07-22
Watch #1
Released: 1985
Cute, but no real twist or hook. Sort of and odd set of conditions on the money. None of the characters are particularly memorable, but it was decent background sound. It also didn't feel like anyone learned anything.
poster for Atlantis: Milo's Return
2020-07-16
Watch #1
Released: 2003
The lame Saturday morning cartoon of a better, interesting story. Worse animation, too.
poster for 21

21

2020-06-28
Watch #1
Released: 2008
Decent enough, but not super compelling from a character or arc perspective. Wasn't much of a twist and all the action scenes were just them reading out numbers.
poster for The Lost World: Jurassic Park
2020-06-19
Watch #1
Released: 1997
Bad pacing, way too many characters, no one was really worth rooting for.
poster for Clueless
2020-06-15
Watch #1
Released: 1995
Story felt unfocused and none of the characters felt particularly likable. Definitely an interesting look into the 90's though
poster for Jerry Seinfeld: 23 Hours To Kill
2020-06-10
Watch #1
Released: 2020
Definitely an older style of stand up. He mostly comes off like an asshole though, which is too bad for him.
poster for The Wedding Party
2020-06-04
Watch #1
Released: 2016
I think I was missing a lot of cultural touchstones to fully enjoy this movie. Sort of charmingly low budget. Had some funny moments.
poster for It's Complicated
2020-05-24
Watch #1
Released: 2009
Some funny bits, but I'm definitely not the target audience.
poster for Mamma Mia!
2020-05-23
Watch #1*
Released: 2008
Better than the second, but weirder than I remember. Lighting wasn't great, also less funny than the second. Better music though. Shows its age.
poster for Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again
  • ๐ŸŽญ RomCom
2020-05-23
Watch #1
Released: 2018
The young cast was funny and everyone else was mostly a bore. Also tough because it was mostly b-list ABBA songs
This was quite a movie. Pretty silly but also objectively bad?? Plot was meandering. John Lithgow stole the show.
Somehow would have been better without Harley. She was a mess. Pretty well acted and cool visuals and choreography. Bad dialogue. Decent music. Some good storytelling mechanic, but mostly uncompelling.
poster for Star Trek Beyond
2020-04-07
Watch #1
Released: 2016
Maybe because we watched two back to back, but this one felt repetitive and boring. Lots of action and explosions, but with less heart than earlier entries
poster for Space Jam
2020-04-04
Watch #2
Released: 1996
no additional notes, see rating and/or other watches.
poster for Emma.
2020-03-30
Watch #1
Released: 2020
Mostly boring slow dialogue. Too many similar characters. Low on plot and events, it's mostly just gossip. Stylistically beautiful and cool costuming.
poster for The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor
2020-03-20
Watch #1
Released: 2008
Pretty bad. Good cast and a couple of good jokes, but past that it was pretty barren.
poster for The Scorpion King
2020-03-19
Watch #1
Released: 2002
Not even the rock could salvage this mess
poster for Planes, Trains and Automobiles
2020-03-17
Watch #1
Released: 1987
It was cute, but Steve Martin is hard to root for. Had a few good gags and a weird soundtrack. Oddly touching.
poster for Star Wars: Episode IX - The Rise of Skywalker
  • ๐Ÿฟ Watched in Theater
2019-12-21
Watch #1
Released: 2019
Interesting movie. Felt a little unfocused. Lots of fanservice, which was sort of fun. But it felt overly cliched and none of the characters felt too fleshed out. There was a lot I liked and the sets and settings were great as always. Music too. Plot overall was fine. Writing was just too sloppy for such a major media franchise.
poster for 6 Underground
2019-12-13
Watch #1
Released: 2019
Lots of explosions. Basically nonstop action. Some funny and charming moments. Interesting political bend, with the Arab spring thing. Mostly flash, but not totally unenjoyable. Ryan Reynolds is great. Not much in the character development department, but they tried a little.
poster for Alley Cats Strike
2019-11-16
Watch #1
Released: 2000
Pretty dumb and cheesy but not not a little cute. ๐Ÿคทโ€โ™‚๏ธ
poster for Hustlers
  • ๐Ÿฟ Watched in Theater
2019-09-20
Watch #1
Released: 2019
A lot of flash, less bang. Some good parts and surprisingly great sound design? But it felt slow. Had some impressive moments though.
poster for Secret Obsession
2019-07-26
Watch #1
Released: 2019
A little bit of good tension, but ultimately unsatisfying and bland.
poster for Murder Mystery
2019-07-07
Watch #1
Released: 2019
Sorta weird and a little fun, but also a little bit of a mess. Adam Sandler wasn't terribly likable and there weren't really clues to let us guess, so we were just sort of along for the ride.
poster for Dark Phoenix
  • ๐Ÿฟ Watched in Theater
2019-06-21
Watch #1
Released: 2019
It was fine, but didn't feel fleshed out. There were some cool fight scenes, but it was ultimately unsatisfying. There were some aliens too, but they felt tacked on.
poster for Five Feet Apart
2019-06-15
Watch #1
Released: 2019
Overly dramatic, but had some nice bits. A few funny bits and a decent cast
poster for Gosford Park
2019-05-18
Watch #1
Released: 2002
This was just dreadful. Super long, nothing happened. Ensemble cast where no one stood out. There was some family drama and I guess a murder, but it was too boring for anyone to care.
poster for Stuber
2019-04-26
Watch #1
Released: 2019
Definitely had its moments, but overall wasn't satisfying. They were both pretty funny, but the overall tone was sort of weird. The existential problems about what this Uber driver has to do is a little scary. Had some ok supporting cast but ultimately didn't get there. See nice guys or 21 jump st instead.
poster for This Is Spinal Tap
2019-04-25
Watch #1
Released: 1984
It had some funny moments but felt like it lacked cohesion? Maybe just not my style of humor. Watched it on my iPad in the theater while waiting for endgame.
poster for Shazam!
  • ๐Ÿฟ Watched in Theater
2019-04-06
Watch #1
Released: 2019
Lots of very cute character moments that unfortunately couldn't hold up an otherwise very cheesy movie. I think I would have preferred this without so much action, as weird as that sounds. Leaned into the cast more and not had so much fighting. Good theme of found family and some genuinely great humor.
poster for To All the Boys I've Loved Before
2019-04-05
Watch #1
Released: 2018
Very accurate portrayal of high schoolers. Downside, high schoolers are the worst. Too cheesy for its own own good. Had little glimmers of good, but mostly bland.
poster for How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World
  • ๐Ÿฟ Watched in Theater
2019-03-27
Watch #1
Released: 2019
Surprisingly boring? Didn't care about the dragon romance and a lot of the plot didn't matter much. Some cute parts and good music/animation, but it was mostly too cheesy and childish.
poster for The Right Stuff
2019-03-09
Watch #1
Released: 1983
This movie was long. Felt like a bunch of fairly unrelated scenes, some of which had totally separate and largely unrelated characters. Three was some cute points but it was... a lot.
poster for Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald
2019-02-23
Watch #1
Released: 2018
Had too much going on and was fixing in a lot of bummer fascism stuff with my fun magic movie. I didn't love the first one, but this was definitely worse.
poster for Another Cinderella Story
2019-02-11
Watch #1
Released: 2008
It existed in a world where everyone is mean and rude and also somehow vapid.
poster for Aquaman
  • ๐Ÿฟ Watched in Theater
2019-02-10
Watch #1
Released: 2018
Wasn't terrible! Definitely took itself too seriously and was a lot of nonsense, but there were some great long shots, fight choreo, and use of slomo.
poster for The Favourite
  • ๐Ÿฟ Watched in Theater
2019-01-30
Watch #1
Released: 2018
While there were definitely parts to like, I think it it was more weird than actually enjoyable. Decent performances but a little too stylistic for my liking
poster for David Bowie: The Last Five Years
2019-01-08
Watch #1
Released: 2017
Nice clips of Bowie, but the documentary itself didn't seem to have much of a point.
poster for A Christmas Prince: The Royal Wedding
2018-11-30
Watch #1
Released: 2018
Somehow even worse than the first.
poster for A Christmas Prince
2018-11-28
Watch #1
Released: 2017
Had a couple of charming bits but it was mostly humorless and pretty dumb.
poster for Widows
  • ๐Ÿฟ Watched in Theater
2018-11-21
Watch #1
Released: 2018
Phenomenal cast and cinematography. A lot of really good camera moves, too. As a heist movie, it's really slow and the heist itself is fairly minimal. There's a ton of dramatic exposition that really steals focus. That part is fine, but it didn't feel like the threads came together.
poster for She's Out of My League
2018-11-06
Watch #1
Released: 2010
Definitely had some cute scenes, funny moments, and maybe even a message! It didn't quite come together but it's not the worst thing I've ever seen.
poster for The Meg
2018-11-04
Watch #1
Released: 2018
About what I expected. Some charming moments and tension, but also mostly dumb action tropes and ridiculous sea life.
poster for A Star Is Born
  • ๐Ÿฟ Watched in Theater
2018-10-24
Watch #1
Released: 2018
Felt disjoint and underdeveloped? Music was great, performances pretty good. Just didn't feel like I cared about any of it.
poster for Venom
  • ๐Ÿฟ Watched in Theater
2018-10-10
Watch #1
Released: 2018
This was... a mess. Hardy's performance was great. He wasn't a like able character, mostly, but he grows on you. Venom is weird. A lot of jokes didn't quite land. I did like how it was a bit of a different approach to hero movies. Pacing was strange, started slow. Definitely had its moments, but there's a lot to criticize
poster for Adventureland
2018-09-27
Watch #1
Released: 2009
Teen coming off age film, but none of the characters are particularly likable? Good cast and style, but that's about it
poster for Proud Mary
2018-08-19
Watch #1
Released: 2018
Very dramatic, but mostly without tension. Taraji P Henson was great, as was Danny glover. Story was real weak and fight choreo left much to be desired.
poster for Sorry to Bother You
  • ๐Ÿฟ Watched in Theater
2018-07-29
Watch #1
Released: 2018
This was... something. Great cast, interesting concept that got wild. A lot of symbolism, I guess? It was a lot.
poster for Snowpiercer
2018-07-28
Watch #1
Released: 2014
Didn't like it as much as I thought I would. Neat concept, good use of space (felt cramped), great cast/performances. I didn't feel like the plot resolved in any meaningful way. The various reveals were surprisingly boring.
poster for Rampage
2018-07-19
Watch #1
Released: 2018
Mostly nonsense with a couple of fun cgi action scenes. The rock is charming, as usual. Not much to write home about.
poster for Assassin's Creed
2018-07-06
Watch #1
Released: 2016
pretty dramatic, feels like not everything was explained? Action was decent but there were a lot of cuts. Hard to follow. Supporting cast literally didn't matter
poster for Labyrinth
2018-06-07
Watch #1
Released: 1986
A lot of the puppets are pretty creepy. Bowie is weird but ethereal. Story has some cute moments but is mostly nonsense. Puppets aged really well.
poster for Naked
2018-05-08
Watch #1
Released: 2017
Definitely has its funny parts. Feels a little clunky and emotionally inconsistent. Definitely ran long. If you like time loop movies and and bad rom coms, you might enjoy it.
poster for Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
2018-04-21
Watch #2
Released: 2017
Has some good humor and character work. Pretty boring, overly complicated story. Cheap emotional manipulation
poster for South Pacific
2018-04-20
Watch #1
Released: 1958
Really pretty old fashioned. There's a central plot point that the main character can't be with another because he had kids with a native girl. A couple of cute songs. Some weird effects and not great characters. Clearly a big production at the time, but hasn't aged well.
poster for Ant-Man
2018-04-19
Watch #1*
Released: 2015
Some neat cg when he runs around small. Ants are gross. Most of..the jokes are Flat. Michael Peรฑa is great. Just so bland.
poster for A Quiet Place
  • ๐Ÿฟ Watched in Theater
  • ๐Ÿฅ‰ Award Winning
2018-04-12
Watch #1
Released: 2018
I think this is objectively a good movie, though not one I personally enjoyed. I don't like scary movies and this was 90 minutes of pure stress. Sound and tension was incredible, but I did not have an enjoyable time
poster for Thor: The Dark World
2018-04-09
Watch #2
Released: 2013
Just so forgettable
poster for Blockers
  • ๐Ÿฟ Watched in Theater
2018-04-09
Watch #1
Released: 2018
Emotionally inconsistent and pretty all over the place. Cena is great, most of the other characters were bad. Tried to do a lot and didn't exceed at really any of it. A couple of funny scenes, but they were never quite satisfying
poster for Thor
2018-04-08
Watch #2
Released: 2011
Lots of stodgy people. Some cool sets. Weird pacing. Some good humor, but a lot of overly dramatic stuff.
poster for The Incredible Hulk
2018-04-07
Watch #1*
Released: 2008
Wasn't nearly as fun as a lot of other movies. Had some nice parts and neat shots, but uneven cg and largely forgettable everything really kill it
poster for Baywatch
2018-03-16
Watch #1
Released: 2017
Like a worse 21 jump street with hotter people. The story was pretty boring and besides a couple of cute scenes nothing really there. Decent movie to have on in the background of a flight or something.
poster for A Wrinkle in Time
  • ๐Ÿฟ Watched in Theater
2018-03-16
Watch #1
Released: 2018
This was a mess. A lot of nice costumes and cool environments/chi tied together with a disaster of a story and underwhelming performances.
poster for Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey
2018-01-28
Watch #1*
Released: 1991
Has none of the charm of the first one. The good part wasn't them as characters, it was them interacting with history. This is all about "bad" versions of them and doesn't really deliver on its big setup. There's also a weird early-90s puppet monster. The movie is just weak outside a few choice lines
poster for Lady Bird
  • ๐Ÿฟ Watched in Theater
2018-01-11
Watch #1
Released: 2017
Cute parts, but ultimately about a teenager yelling at things. I guess she learns and it's nice, but I spent too much of the movie thinking how annoying she and her mom were.
poster for The Transporter
2017-11-12
Watch #1
Released: 2002
no additional notes, see rating and/or other watches.
poster for Joseph: King of Dreams
2017-10-15
Watch #1*
Released: 2000
no additional notes, see rating and/or other watches.
poster for Blade Runner
2017-10-14
Watch #2
Released: 1982
This is the kind of movie that I want to read a plot synopsis of and an art book. It moves slow, which is fine but it's too steeped in its own philosophy to be enjoyable. I can tell that is was notable at the time and i'm glad for what it did for sci-fi, but I don't think it holds up. We wached the "correct" version, too.
poster for This Is the End
2017-09-04
Watch #1
Released: 2013
no additional notes, see rating and/or other watches.
poster for Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie
2017-08-07
Watch #1*
Released: 1995
It pains me to say this, but this movie really doesn't hold up. The CGI has aged pretty badly, there's a lot of dumb sound effects and flat dialogue
poster for Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales
  • ๐Ÿฟ Watched in Theater
2017-05-26
Watch #1
Released: 2017
It wrapped some stuff up nicely, but was ultimately a disappointing outing for the franchise
poster for X-Men
2017-02-28
Watch #1*
Released: 2000
no additional notes, see rating and/or other watches.
poster for Beetlejuice
2017-02-04
Watch #1
Released: 1988
no additional notes, see rating and/or other watches.
poster for Space Jam
2016-11-08
Watch #1*
Released: 1996
no additional notes, see rating and/or other watches.
poster for Nerve
2016-11-06
Watch #1
Released: 2016
no additional notes, see rating and/or other watches.
poster for Halloweentown
2016-10-12
Watch #1
Released: 1998
Nothing about this is pleasant. The characters are unlikable, the jokes bad, and the plot forgettable. Nothing about it holds up.
poster for Spy Kids
2016-09-23
Watch #1*
Released: 2001
no additional notes, see rating and/or other watches.
poster for Now You See Me 2
  • ๐Ÿ’ธ Heist
  • ๐Ÿฟ Watched in Theater
2016-06-04
Watch #1
Released: 2016
no additional notes, see rating and/or other watches.
poster for Special Correspondents
2016-05-28
Watch #1
Released: 2016
no additional notes, see rating and/or other watches.
poster for Scooby-Doo
2016-03-17
Watch #1*
Released: 2002
no additional notes, see rating and/or other watches.
poster for Kung Fu Panda 3
  • ๐Ÿฟ Watched in Theater
2016-02-04
Watch #1
Released: 2016
no additional notes, see rating and/or other watches.
poster for Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace
2015-12-13
Watch #1*
Released: 1999
no additional notes, see rating and/or other watches.
poster for Staten Island Summer
2015-08-23
Watch #1
Released: 2015
no additional notes, see rating and/or other watches.
poster for Pitch Perfect 2
  • ๐Ÿฟ Watched in Theater
2015-05-18
Watch #1
Released: 2015
no additional notes, see rating and/or other watches.
poster for Godzilla
  • ๐Ÿฟ Watched in Theater
2014-05-16
Watch #1
Released: 2014
no additional notes, see rating and/or other watches.
poster for Thor: The Dark World
  • ๐Ÿฟ Watched in Theater
2013-11-16
Watch #1
Released: 2013
no additional notes, see rating and/or other watches.
poster for Ender's Game
  • ๐Ÿฟ Watched in Theater
2013-10-31
Watch #1
Released: 2013
no additional notes, see rating and/or other watches.
poster for The Way Way Back
  • ๐Ÿฟ Watched in Theater
2013-09-05
Watch #1
Released: 2013
I thought I would like it more than I did. It was cute, but felt generic. Decent summer movie though
poster for Equilibrium
2013-08-04
Watch #1
Released: 2002
no additional notes, see rating and/or other watches.
poster for Perfect Blue
2013-04-30
Watch #1
Released: 1997
no additional notes, see rating and/or other watches.
poster for The Room
2012-10-15
Watch #1
Released: 2003
True to it's word, this movie is objectively bad. What makes it fun is teasing it and playing along, but absent that it's not worth it.
poster for Blade Runner
2012-09-20
Watch #1
Released: 1982
no additional notes, see rating and/or other watches.
poster for Beasts of the Southern Wild
  • ๐Ÿฟ Watched in Theater
2012-07-28
Watch #1
Released: 2012
no additional notes, see rating and/or other watches.
poster for Safety Not Guaranteed
  • ๐Ÿฟ Watched in Theater
2012-07-10
Watch #1
Released: 2012
no additional notes, see rating and/or other watches.
poster for Ocean's Eleven
2011-09-16
Watch #1
Released: 1960
no additional notes, see rating and/or other watches.
poster for Drumline
2011-07-17
Watch #1
Released: 2002
no additional notes, see rating and/or other watches.
poster for The Hangover Part II
  • ๐Ÿฟ Watched in Theater
2011-05-31
Watch #1
Released: 2011
no additional notes, see rating and/or other watches.