Showing reviews of movies you should avoid unless you're a big fan of the genre or like watching bad movies (like I do).
Each review is scored on my 4-point rating system.
Plot wise, itโs like a really wet Jurassic Park? I didnโt love the really slow first half and unremarkable characters. Some good action pieces and some good cast members though.
Plot wise, itโs like a really wet Jurassic Park? I didnโt love the really slow first half and unremarkable characters. Some good action pieces and some good cast members though.
A decent premise that was never quite fun enough to be truly fun. Wasnโt much christmas magic. Chenoweth is great as always and itโs nice to see Lohan doing things again.
A decent premise that was never quite fun enough to be truly fun. Wasnโt much christmas magic. Chenoweth is great as always and itโs nice to see Lohan doing things again.
Exhausting theater kid energy. Had some interesting perspectives on everyone's journey through their art and the paths that can take. But, felt disjoint, with too many characters. It also just seemes like drama for drama's sake- they just kept throwing bad things at these kids and everyone seemed miserable. It's ending was especially unsatisfying- it's a song where the ensemble pretends like everyone is fine when all evidence from the film points to the exact opposite. Whole thing was a real slog.
Exhausting theater kid energy. Had some interesting perspectives on everyone's journey through their art and the paths that can take. But, felt disjoint, with too many characters. It also just seemes like drama for drama's sake- they just kept throwing bad things at these kids and everyone seemed miserable. It's ending was especially unsatisfying- it's a song where the ensemble pretends like everyone is fine when all evidence from the film points to the exact opposite. Whole thing was a real slog.
Has some good gags, but the pacing felt off. Some segments are dense, but others are more air than joke. Most of the time, it felt silly for silly's sake. You can see the inspirations for Airplane, but it definitely wasn't there yet.
Has some good gags, but the pacing felt off. Some segments are dense, but others are more air than joke. Most of the time, it felt silly for silly's sake. You can see the inspirations for Airplane, but it definitely wasn't there yet.
Well-tread premise that has a few tricks up its sleeve. Ok performances and a predictable plot mostly let it down, but it picks up some steam in the back half.
Well-tread premise that has a few tricks up its sleeve. Ok performances and a predictable plot mostly let it down, but it picks up some steam in the back half.
Has some really touching stories about the immigrant experience and family dynamics, but the whole thing is let down by its otherwise uninspired writing. Absolutely stunning graphics though, and some charming worldbuilding.
Has some really touching stories about the immigrant experience and family dynamics, but the whole thing is let down by its otherwise uninspired writing. Absolutely stunning graphics though, and some charming worldbuilding.
Has some emotional payoff from the last couple of movies, but is significantly less fun than them. A fitting climax, but leaves somethign to be desired.
Has some emotional payoff from the last couple of movies, but is significantly less fun than them. A fitting climax, but leaves somethign to be desired.
Sort of a fascinating movie. Felt longer than it was. I generally liked Keaton, but I didn't feel like we got much of him compared to Nicholson. Felt totally unfocused, bouncing between big action set pieces and goofy joker dances. Art direction was pretty good, but won't go down as a better Batman
Sort of a fascinating movie. Felt longer than it was. I generally liked Keaton, but I didn't feel like we got much of him compared to Nicholson. Felt totally unfocused, bouncing between big action set pieces and goofy joker dances. Art direction was pretty good, but won't go down as a better Batman
Defenitely deserves its cultural sensitivity warning preroll. Story is decent and bits are funny, but largely fell flat for me. That said, I liked the orchestration, especially how they timed it with the action.
Defenitely deserves its cultural sensitivity warning preroll. Story is decent and bits are funny, but largely fell flat for me. That said, I liked the orchestration, especially how they timed it with the action.
A decent enough romp, but a little too joyless for my tastes. Other movies have done adventure better since and there wasnโt enough fun tying it to the games.
A decent enough romp, but a little too joyless for my tastes. Other movies have done adventure better since and there wasnโt enough fun tying it to the games.
The most remarkable thing this movie did was star both John Cena and Alison Brie yet be so boring and un-funny. The dictator was sort of the emotional core of the whole thing, which leads to some complicated messaging.
The most remarkable thing this movie did was star both John Cena and Alison Brie yet be so boring and un-funny. The dictator was sort of the emotional core of the whole thing, which leads to some complicated messaging.
Some steller performances held back by just the slowest and lowest stakes narritive Iโve seein in a while. Disappointed, as Iโve loved most of McDonaghโs other work. This wasnโt a dark comedy, it was justโฆ dark and boring and melancholy.
Some steller performances held back by just the slowest and lowest stakes narritive Iโve seein in a while. Disappointed, as Iโve loved most of McDonaghโs other work. This wasnโt a dark comedy, it was justโฆ dark and boring and melancholy.
There are bits of it that work (the cast, some music) and a lot that doesnโt (sort of a bonkers, caricature of a plot). Not a terrible watch, but not a great one.
There are bits of it that work (the cast, some music) and a lot that doesnโt (sort of a bonkers, caricature of a plot). Not a terrible watch, but not a great one.
This move is largely very pretty and the music is pretty good. But, if you remake a movie, you have to change and/or improve it. This remake negleected to do that- itโs actually remakably identical to the original with CGI instead of hand-drawn animation. Some bits are better, but others are worse. Hard to see why they bothered.
This move is largely very pretty and the music is pretty good. But, if you remake a movie, you have to change and/or improve it. This remake negleected to do that- itโs actually remakably identical to the original with CGI instead of hand-drawn animation. Some bits are better, but others are worse. Hard to see why they bothered.
Extremely unsettling and creepy. Didnโt have any of the cleverness of parody I was hoping it would. Certainly an effective movie, but not one I enjoyed watching.
Extremely unsettling and creepy. Didnโt have any of the cleverness of parody I was hoping it would. Certainly an effective movie, but not one I enjoyed watching.
Decently spooky, but felt like it went too many directions. Some heardfelt bits, some scary bits, some funny bits. But just not enough of any one thing. Awesome cast though.
Decently spooky, but felt like it went too many directions. Some heardfelt bits, some scary bits, some funny bits. But just not enough of any one thing. Awesome cast though.
Felt like a cute family movie. Unfortunately, we donโt know these people. Thought it would be closer to Assembed, the marvel behind-the-scenes documentaries.
Felt like a cute family movie. Unfortunately, we donโt know these people. Thought it would be closer to Assembed, the marvel behind-the-scenes documentaries.
It's got a little heart buried in there, but is largely dated. A lot of the writing is gross and doesn't hold up, but there are a couple of funny bits. It's inconsistent overall.
It's got a little heart buried in there, but is largely dated. A lot of the writing is gross and doesn't hold up, but there are a couple of funny bits. It's inconsistent overall.
This movie didnโt know what it was trying to be. We were back to the high-art dramady of the first one when all we wanted was the pitch-perfect-but-strippers that was the second one.
This movie didnโt know what it was trying to be. We were back to the high-art dramady of the first one when all we wanted was the pitch-perfect-but-strippers that was the second one.
Pretty weak overall, but it had its moments. Pretty imbalanced between the treasure hunting and the pure action (it didnโt know what it wanted to be). Pretty dated, too.
Pretty weak overall, but it had its moments. Pretty imbalanced between the treasure hunting and the pure action (it didnโt know what it wanted to be). Pretty dated, too.
Honestly pretty boring. No one learned anything. 15 minutes of plot spread over 90 minutes. Some nice montages and music, but otherwise not much going for it.
Honestly pretty boring. No one learned anything. 15 minutes of plot spread over 90 minutes. Some nice montages and music, but otherwise not much going for it.
Little slice of life about people maybe falling in love. Charming at bits, but overall pretty bland and low budget. Some ok songs, but it was fairly repetitive. Female lead was pretty weak, too.
Little slice of life about people maybe falling in love. Charming at bits, but overall pretty bland and low budget. Some ok songs, but it was fairly repetitive. Female lead was pretty weak, too.
Had its moments, but failed to be more than a kids movie. Was needlessly childish and silly for too much time. I get it- that's the target audience. But it didn't have to be that way.
Had its moments, but failed to be more than a kids movie. Was needlessly childish and silly for too much time. I get it- that's the target audience. But it didn't have to be that way.
Had heart and a couple of great performances, but didnโt really hit the plot notes that it was shooting for. Definitely cute in the end, but didnโt feel like it had earned it.
Had heart and a couple of great performances, but didnโt really hit the plot notes that it was shooting for. Definitely cute in the end, but didnโt feel like it had earned it.
Had a couple of very charming bits and an absolutely stacked cast, but really didnโt go anywhere or have much substance worth writing home about. Definitely a miss.
Had a couple of very charming bits and an absolutely stacked cast, but really didnโt go anywhere or have much substance worth writing home about. Definitely a miss.
Lots of characters and they don't quite add up. Villain design was pretty gross, and not in a good way. There was some cool visual design though with slo-mo and Emma stone was good.
Lots of characters and they don't quite add up. Villain design was pretty gross, and not in a good way. There was some cool visual design though with slo-mo and Emma stone was good.
Neat enough world building, good cast. Rote story and mostly boring plot though. Cute enough for kids, but lacks staying power. Not really an Easter movie
Neat enough world building, good cast. Rote story and mostly boring plot though. Cute enough for kids, but lacks staying power. Not really an Easter movie
Muppets being so bawdy was sort of funny, but it didn't really come together in a satisfying way. There were a couple of good puppet specific gags, but mostly wasted potential on a thin racism metaphor.
Muppets being so bawdy was sort of funny, but it didn't really come together in a satisfying way. There were a couple of good puppet specific gags, but mostly wasted potential on a thin racism metaphor.
This one had a lot of potential but didn't quite land. Really interestingly shot, interspersed with good noir tropes and odd cutaways. Some ok characters and great costumes and set. But, story was lacking.
This one had a lot of potential but didn't quite land. Really interestingly shot, interspersed with good noir tropes and odd cutaways. Some ok characters and great costumes and set. But, story was lacking.
It was good, but felt rushed. They cut it pretty far down and it ended abruptly. Good performances, especially Umbridge. Did well with what it put in, but felt a little empty. It would be another one I'd be lost by without the book.
It was good, but felt rushed. They cut it pretty far down and it ended abruptly. Good performances, especially Umbridge. Did well with what it put in, but felt a little empty. It would be another one I'd be lost by without the book.
This felt like a weaker movie- it left a lot of detail out to keep to the action scenes, which is understandable, but left the movie wanting. Superb performance from Tennant.
This felt like a weaker movie- it left a lot of detail out to keep to the action scenes, which is understandable, but left the movie wanting. Superb performance from Tennant.
I understand that every movie isn't for me and this one definitely isn't. It felt like a fever dream where there are snippets of 8 plots, none of which are resolved.
I understand that every movie isn't for me and this one definitely isn't. It felt like a fever dream where there are snippets of 8 plots, none of which are resolved.
Great sound and camera work. Weird story that didn't feel great narratively. Paced pretty well though and plenty of very gross bits. There were some visual effects that made me sort of seasick
Great sound and camera work. Weird story that didn't feel great narratively. Paced pretty well though and plenty of very gross bits. There were some visual effects that made me sort of seasick
It definitely had some cool action, but the story was uncompelling and the characters had basically no development. Also not a musical. Honestly would have been stronger if it was a standalone movie with no ties to the original. Nice representation in the cast though, so it has that going for it!
It definitely had some cool action, but the story was uncompelling and the characters had basically no development. Also not a musical. Honestly would have been stronger if it was a standalone movie with no ties to the original. Nice representation in the cast though, so it has that going for it!
There's definitely some great jokes and scenes. Basically everyone but Amy Schumer is great. She doesn't come off as likable at all, indefinitely. Honestly a great cast.
There's definitely some great jokes and scenes. Basically everyone but Amy Schumer is great. She doesn't come off as likable at all, indefinitely. Honestly a great cast.
Truly dreadful. Clearly he wanted to make a Japanese crime movie but had to keep putting car scenes in. Totally unlikeable main character made it hard to root for anyone but Han. Who dies. What a mess.
Truly dreadful. Clearly he wanted to make a Japanese crime movie but had to keep putting car scenes in. Totally unlikeable main character made it hard to root for anyone but Han. Who dies. What a mess.
Kind of boring again. Lots of high octane action, but the plot itself was underwhelming. Actually some good emotional development with characters now that we've seen so dang many of these.
Kind of boring again. Lots of high octane action, but the plot itself was underwhelming. Actually some good emotional development with characters now that we've seen so dang many of these.
Cute, but no real twist or hook. Sort of and odd set of conditions on the money. None of the characters are particularly memorable, but it was decent background sound. It also didn't feel like anyone learned anything.
Cute, but no real twist or hook. Sort of and odd set of conditions on the money. None of the characters are particularly memorable, but it was decent background sound. It also didn't feel like anyone learned anything.
Decent enough, but not super compelling from a character or arc perspective. Wasn't much of a twist and all the action scenes were just them reading out numbers.
Decent enough, but not super compelling from a character or arc perspective. Wasn't much of a twist and all the action scenes were just them reading out numbers.
Somehow would have been better without Harley. She was a mess. Pretty well acted and cool visuals and choreography. Bad dialogue. Decent music. Some good storytelling mechanic, but mostly uncompelling.
Somehow would have been better without Harley. She was a mess. Pretty well acted and cool visuals and choreography. Bad dialogue. Decent music. Some good storytelling mechanic, but mostly uncompelling.
Maybe because we watched two back to back, but this one felt repetitive and boring. Lots of action and explosions, but with less heart than earlier entries
Maybe because we watched two back to back, but this one felt repetitive and boring. Lots of action and explosions, but with less heart than earlier entries
Interesting movie. Felt a little unfocused. Lots of fanservice, which was sort of fun. But it felt overly cliched and none of the characters felt too fleshed out. There was a lot I liked and the sets and settings were great as always. Music too. Plot overall was fine. Writing was just too sloppy for such a major media franchise.
Interesting movie. Felt a little unfocused. Lots of fanservice, which was sort of fun. But it felt overly cliched and none of the characters felt too fleshed out. There was a lot I liked and the sets and settings were great as always. Music too. Plot overall was fine. Writing was just too sloppy for such a major media franchise.
Lots of explosions. Basically nonstop action. Some funny and charming moments. Interesting political bend, with the Arab spring thing. Mostly flash, but not totally unenjoyable. Ryan Reynolds is great. Not much in the character development department, but they tried a little.
Lots of explosions. Basically nonstop action. Some funny and charming moments. Interesting political bend, with the Arab spring thing. Mostly flash, but not totally unenjoyable. Ryan Reynolds is great. Not much in the character development department, but they tried a little.
Sorta weird and a little fun, but also a little bit of a mess. Adam Sandler wasn't terribly likable and there weren't really clues to let us guess, so we were just sort of along for the ride.
Sorta weird and a little fun, but also a little bit of a mess. Adam Sandler wasn't terribly likable and there weren't really clues to let us guess, so we were just sort of along for the ride.
It was fine, but didn't feel fleshed out. There were some cool fight scenes, but it was ultimately unsatisfying. There were some aliens too, but they felt tacked on.
It was fine, but didn't feel fleshed out. There were some cool fight scenes, but it was ultimately unsatisfying. There were some aliens too, but they felt tacked on.
This was just dreadful. Super long, nothing happened. Ensemble cast where no one stood out. There was some family drama and I guess a murder, but it was too boring for anyone to care.
This was just dreadful. Super long, nothing happened. Ensemble cast where no one stood out. There was some family drama and I guess a murder, but it was too boring for anyone to care.
Definitely had its moments, but overall wasn't satisfying. They were both pretty funny, but the overall tone was sort of weird. The existential problems about what this Uber driver has to do is a little scary. Had some ok supporting cast but ultimately didn't get there. See nice guys or 21 jump st instead.
Definitely had its moments, but overall wasn't satisfying. They were both pretty funny, but the overall tone was sort of weird. The existential problems about what this Uber driver has to do is a little scary. Had some ok supporting cast but ultimately didn't get there. See nice guys or 21 jump st instead.
It had some funny moments but felt like it lacked cohesion? Maybe just not my style of humor. Watched it on my iPad in the theater while waiting for endgame.
It had some funny moments but felt like it lacked cohesion? Maybe just not my style of humor. Watched it on my iPad in the theater while waiting for endgame.
Lots of very cute character moments that unfortunately couldn't hold up an otherwise very cheesy movie. I think I would have preferred this without so much action, as weird as that sounds. Leaned into the cast more and not had so much fighting. Good theme of found family and some genuinely great humor.
Lots of very cute character moments that unfortunately couldn't hold up an otherwise very cheesy movie. I think I would have preferred this without so much action, as weird as that sounds. Leaned into the cast more and not had so much fighting. Good theme of found family and some genuinely great humor.
Very accurate portrayal of high schoolers. Downside, high schoolers are the worst. Too cheesy for its own own good. Had little glimmers of good, but mostly bland.
Very accurate portrayal of high schoolers. Downside, high schoolers are the worst. Too cheesy for its own own good. Had little glimmers of good, but mostly bland.
Surprisingly boring? Didn't care about the dragon romance and a lot of the plot didn't matter much. Some cute parts and good music/animation, but it was mostly too cheesy and childish.
Surprisingly boring? Didn't care about the dragon romance and a lot of the plot didn't matter much. Some cute parts and good music/animation, but it was mostly too cheesy and childish.
This movie was long. Felt like a bunch of fairly unrelated scenes, some of which had totally separate and largely unrelated characters. Three was some cute points but it was... a lot.
This movie was long. Felt like a bunch of fairly unrelated scenes, some of which had totally separate and largely unrelated characters. Three was some cute points but it was... a lot.
Had too much going on and was fixing in a lot of bummer fascism stuff with my fun magic movie. I didn't love the first one, but this was definitely worse.
Had too much going on and was fixing in a lot of bummer fascism stuff with my fun magic movie. I didn't love the first one, but this was definitely worse.
While there were definitely parts to like, I think it it was more weird than actually enjoyable. Decent performances but a little too stylistic for my liking
While there were definitely parts to like, I think it it was more weird than actually enjoyable. Decent performances but a little too stylistic for my liking
Phenomenal cast and cinematography. A lot of really good camera moves, too. As a heist movie, it's really slow and the heist itself is fairly minimal. There's a ton of dramatic exposition that really steals focus. That part is fine, but it didn't feel like the threads came together.
Phenomenal cast and cinematography. A lot of really good camera moves, too. As a heist movie, it's really slow and the heist itself is fairly minimal. There's a ton of dramatic exposition that really steals focus. That part is fine, but it didn't feel like the threads came together.
This was... a mess. Hardy's performance was great. He wasn't a like able character, mostly, but he grows on you. Venom is weird. A lot of jokes didn't quite land. I did like how it was a bit of a different approach to hero movies. Pacing was strange, started slow. Definitely had its moments, but there's a lot to criticize
This was... a mess. Hardy's performance was great. He wasn't a like able character, mostly, but he grows on you. Venom is weird. A lot of jokes didn't quite land. I did like how it was a bit of a different approach to hero movies. Pacing was strange, started slow. Definitely had its moments, but there's a lot to criticize
Very dramatic, but mostly without tension. Taraji P Henson was great, as was Danny glover. Story was real weak and fight choreo left much to be desired.
Very dramatic, but mostly without tension. Taraji P Henson was great, as was Danny glover. Story was real weak and fight choreo left much to be desired.
Didn't like it as much as I thought I would. Neat concept, good use of space (felt cramped), great cast/performances. I didn't feel like the plot resolved in any meaningful way. The various reveals were surprisingly boring.
Didn't like it as much as I thought I would. Neat concept, good use of space (felt cramped), great cast/performances. I didn't feel like the plot resolved in any meaningful way. The various reveals were surprisingly boring.
pretty dramatic, feels like not everything was explained? Action was decent but there were a lot of cuts. Hard to follow. Supporting cast literally didn't matter
pretty dramatic, feels like not everything was explained? Action was decent but there were a lot of cuts. Hard to follow. Supporting cast literally didn't matter
Definitely has its funny parts. Feels a little clunky and emotionally inconsistent. Definitely ran long. If you like time loop movies and and bad rom coms, you might enjoy it.
Definitely has its funny parts. Feels a little clunky and emotionally inconsistent. Definitely ran long. If you like time loop movies and and bad rom coms, you might enjoy it.
Really pretty old fashioned. There's a central plot point that the main character can't be with another because he had kids with a native girl. A couple of cute songs. Some weird effects and not great characters. Clearly a big production at the time, but hasn't aged well.
Really pretty old fashioned. There's a central plot point that the main character can't be with another because he had kids with a native girl. A couple of cute songs. Some weird effects and not great characters. Clearly a big production at the time, but hasn't aged well.
I think this is objectively a good movie, though not one I personally enjoyed. I don't like scary movies and this was 90 minutes of pure stress. Sound and tension was incredible, but I did not have an enjoyable time
I think this is objectively a good movie, though not one I personally enjoyed. I don't like scary movies and this was 90 minutes of pure stress. Sound and tension was incredible, but I did not have an enjoyable time
Emotionally inconsistent and pretty all over the place. Cena is great, most of the other characters were bad. Tried to do a lot and didn't exceed at really any of it. A couple of funny scenes, but they were never quite satisfying
Emotionally inconsistent and pretty all over the place. Cena is great, most of the other characters were bad. Tried to do a lot and didn't exceed at really any of it. A couple of funny scenes, but they were never quite satisfying
Like a worse 21 jump street with hotter people. The story was pretty boring and besides a couple of cute scenes nothing really there. Decent movie to have on in the background of a flight or something.
Like a worse 21 jump street with hotter people. The story was pretty boring and besides a couple of cute scenes nothing really there. Decent movie to have on in the background of a flight or something.
Has none of the charm of the first one. The good part wasn't them as characters, it was them interacting with history. This is all about "bad" versions of them and doesn't really deliver on its big setup. There's also a weird early-90s puppet monster. The movie is just weak outside a few choice lines
Has none of the charm of the first one. The good part wasn't them as characters, it was them interacting with history. This is all about "bad" versions of them and doesn't really deliver on its big setup. There's also a weird early-90s puppet monster. The movie is just weak outside a few choice lines
Cute parts, but ultimately about a teenager yelling at things. I guess she learns and it's nice, but I spent too much of the movie thinking how annoying she and her mom were.
Cute parts, but ultimately about a teenager yelling at things. I guess she learns and it's nice, but I spent too much of the movie thinking how annoying she and her mom were.
This is the kind of movie that I want to read a plot synopsis of and an art book. It moves slow, which is fine but it's too steeped in its own philosophy to be enjoyable. I can tell that is was notable at the time and i'm glad for what it did for sci-fi, but I don't think it holds up. We wached the "correct" version, too.
This is the kind of movie that I want to read a plot synopsis of and an art book. It moves slow, which is fine but it's too steeped in its own philosophy to be enjoyable. I can tell that is was notable at the time and i'm glad for what it did for sci-fi, but I don't think it holds up. We wached the "correct" version, too.