All Unrecommended Movies

An eclectic fever dream of a movie. There Peter Pan allusion is a fun premise, but none of the characters are especially well developed. Decent, if juicy, finale. There's a lot of wild cinematography too. I can see how it got cult status but I also suspect the musical adaptation has more depth.

Builds lot of tension without much resolution. Like, it has a sort of unsatisfying ending and then the credits roll, but there's never any explanation or closure. It just sort of stops.

A fun premise that actually seemed like it was written by someone who had played a videogame. Loved the idea of sentient NPCs. Lots of cute visual references and nods to existing games. But the story itself fell flat for me. They put so much energy into building that world only for the actual plot to be a forgettable series of chase scenes with a love story hamfistedly woven in. It's not a bad watch overall (especially if you love videogames) but it felt like a missed opporunity. Also the climax was underbaked.

A funny mishmash of genres. Bothered me less than movies like A Simple Favor, but it also made the film feel disjoint. There are a lot of moving pieces that acknowledge each other rather than building each other up. Main cast is great though, especially Kidman.

As an unapologetic lover of the Pirates movies, this one is always a bit of a letdown. It's got its moments and a top tier cast (as usual) but it's a little too cheeky. It treads on winks to the series rather than serious character work. It does some passable work expanding the world of the Golden Age of Piracy, but it's mostly limited to a couple of lines. It's also pretty crowded - a LOT of factions show up to the climax. There are good bones in there and it's not a total loss, but there are better outings.

A comedy of errors with a little more error than comedy. All of the scenes are funny, but some land better than others. At some point it's hard to root for anyone as they all reveal themselves to be pretty heartless. It works out in the end though and there are a couple of truly funny scenes in there. Great ensemble, too.

Gets a little too caught up being clever about its structure and not enough time on magic and character development that makes sense. It's a fun ride when you want to relax though. Has a couple of super memorable moments, especially the nutty vault scene. Also markedly less of a "wealth distribution" theme than the first one, which is a shame.

Murderers row of a cast, but the storylines were underbaked to fit everyone. I like Garry Marshall schlock, but even this was a little heavy handed.

Not terrible, but is a little too cheesy for its action movie positioning. Huge budget well spent though. Doesn't forget what it's there for and has some decent jokes. Fairly forgettable overall, but a good time.

A lackluster outing overall, but amazing performances out of both kids. Plot was exactly what you'd expect and doesn't end up being all that fun.

Was a passable heist movie (eventually) but totally lacking in Christmas cheer and chemistry between its leads.

Forgettable characters and a derivative script made this more of a slog than I hoped for.

There was both too much and too little superhero stuff. Like, the scenes they had were only ok, but the rest of the movie felt like a lot of chatting and planning with no action. The characters were underdeveloped even if the casting was great. And they made some BONKERS choices that didn't make any sense for how smart they were supposed to be. The production design was killer though. Not a bad watch, but doesn’t feel like it’ll stick with me.

A schlocky retread of the first one?? That makes two sequels Anna Kendrick is in that are basically the same plot as the first one. The cast is good and there are some fun performances, but the twists were fairly predictable. Balanced the tone a little better than before, at least.

Mackie does a decent job trying to drive the emotional core of the movie, but it feels scattered and emotionally unfocused. Carl Lumbly turns in the only noteworthy performance and he's hardly in the dang thing. There are 3x the characters they need and none of them have enough depth. And basically everything going wrong being explained by magic mind control makes for an unsatisfying plot. There are 5 credited screenwriters and it shows. The fight scenes are neat, but it spends the whole time trying to cash in on a series of emotional payoffs it hasn't come close to earning.

Cast, especially Anna Kendrick, kills it. But the tone is all over the place, so each of its vibes (thriller and goofy comedy) water each other down so only mush remains. The costume department must have had a blast though

Plot wise, it’s like a really wet Jurassic Park? I didn’t love the really slow first half and unremarkable characters. Some good action pieces and some good cast members though.

A decent premise that was never quite fun enough to be truly fun. Wasn’t much christmas magic. Chenoweth is great as always and it’s nice to see Lohan doing things again.

Exhausting theater kid energy. Had some interesting perspectives on everyone's journey through their art and the paths that can take. But, felt disjoint, with too many characters. It also just seemes like drama for drama's sake- they just kept throwing bad things at these kids and everyone seemed miserable. It's ending was especially unsatisfying- it's a song where the ensemble pretends like everyone is fine when all evidence from the film points to the exact opposite. Whole thing was a real slog.

It's a fun premise and a decent cast, but the lack of chemistry and an odd but not-fun performance out of Milligan left us out in the cold.

Has some good gags, but the pacing felt off. Some segments are dense, but others are more air than joke. Most of the time, it felt silly for silly's sake. You can see the inspirations for Airplane, but it definitely wasn't there yet.

Well-tread premise that has a few tricks up its sleeve. Ok performances and a predictable plot mostly let it down, but it picks up some steam in the back half.

Has some really touching stories about the immigrant experience and family dynamics, but the whole thing is let down by its otherwise uninspired writing. Absolutely stunning graphics though, and some charming worldbuilding.

Has some emotional payoff from the last couple of movies, but is significantly less fun than them. A fitting climax, but leaves somethign to be desired.

Sort of a fascinating movie. Felt longer than it was. I generally liked Keaton, but I didn't feel like we got much of him compared to Nicholson. Felt totally unfocused, bouncing between big action set pieces and goofy joker dances. Art direction was pretty good, but won't go down as a better Batman

Crowded cast let down by clumsy writing and uncanny CGI. Not as bad as everyone says it is, but not great.

Defenitely deserves its cultural sensitivity warning preroll. Story is decent and bits are funny, but largely fell flat for me. That said, I liked the orchestration, especially how they timed it with the action.

A decent enough romp, but a little too joyless for my tastes. Other movies have done adventure better since and there wasn’t enough fun tying it to the games.

The most remarkable thing this movie did was star both John Cena and Alison Brie yet be so boring and un-funny. The dictator was sort of the emotional core of the whole thing, which leads to some complicated messaging.

Some steller performances held back by just the slowest and lowest stakes narritive I’ve seein in a while. Disappointed, as I’ve loved most of McDonagh’s other work. This wasn’t a dark comedy, it was just… dark and boring and melancholy.

Scattered and fun. The cute parts are great, but all of the marvel fighting felt pretty boring. Getting hard to keep everything straight.

Pretty dumb with the occasional cool set pieces. Hart gets carried by a better supporting cast and there's some decent heisting.

Pretty dumb, but not a terrible watch. I think their comedy works more in short form than long, but there are some good bits.

Fun concept, but quickly devolves into a run-of-the-mill action comedy. Pretty good cast, but didn’t really do it for me.

Good natured, but pretty boring

Not without its charms, but it’s remarkably the exact same movie as California Christmas? And very wine-y.

Not very christmas-y. Some nice elephant protection messaging, but remarkably lacking in any further charisma or interesting (or even funny) plot

There are bits of it that work (the cast, some music) and a lot that doesn’t (sort of a bonkers, caricature of a plot). Not a terrible watch, but not a great one.

Real stinker of a movie. Boring, uncompelling.

Had some interesting ideas but wasn’t good enough to be good or quite dumb enough to be so-good-it’s-bad

Certainly more christmasy than the first, and with better characters, but it’s not _fun_ bad yet. Just like, fine.

Bits of it were funny and charming, but it mostly fell pretty flag. It also wasn’t very Christmas-y for a Christmas movie?

This move is largely very pretty and the music is pretty good. But, if you remake a movie, you have to change and/or improve it. This remake negleected to do that- it’s actually remakably identical to the original with CGI instead of hand-drawn animation. Some bits are better, but others are worse. Hard to see why they bothered.

Had its moments, but was mostly forgettable.

Had it’s funny bits (and JB is great as always), but annoying characters and a weak plot didn’t do it for me.

Extremely unsettling and creepy. Didn’t have any of the cleverness of parody I was hoping it would. Certainly an effective movie, but not one I enjoyed watching.

Just dreadfully boring. Extremely horny for no real reason. A modicum of plot right at the end, but slow and pointless otherwise.

It had extremely strong art direction, but unfortunately didn't have the writing to support it. It had such cool sets but everything else fell flat.

Decently spooky, but felt like it went too many directions. Some heardfelt bits, some scary bits, some funny bits. But just not enough of any one thing. Awesome cast though.

Felt like a cute family movie. Unfortunately, we don’t know these people. Thought it would be closer to Assembed, the marvel behind-the-scenes documentaries.

A movie that simply didn’t need to happen. The cast was good but everything just felt lifeless by comparison. A lot of the songs we were worse too.

Charming in its own way, but also pretty dumb.

Light and sort of dumb but had some nice songs. Definitely a step down from the previous films.

Some fun bits, but didn’t really pull us in like the others.

It's got a little heart buried in there, but is largely dated. A lot of the writing is gross and doesn't hold up, but there are a couple of funny bits. It's inconsistent overall.

Tense, but felt rushed and without heart. Pretty faithful adaptation, but I didn't get much from it.

Pretty stupid and fun, but that's basically what we're here for.

This movie didn’t know what it was trying to be. We were back to the high-art dramady of the first one when all we wanted was the pitch-perfect-but-strippers that was the second one.

Had some interesting moments, but took forever to get anywhere

Just sort of boring? Lots of CGI. Good cast and some ok emotional bits, but the plot itself didn't seem like it went anywhere.

Fairly charming, but the story wasn’t quiet there when compared to the other muppet stuff. Not enough heisting.

Pretty childish and not especially australian, but there are some neat animals and a decent villian.

Unfocused and tread a lot of ground from the first one.

Pretty weak overall, but it had its moments. Pretty imbalanced between the treasure hunting and the pure action (it didn’t know what it wanted to be). Pretty dated, too.

Music is less memorable, characters are more caroonishly ridiculous

Too much action and not enough character development. Decently funny though. Wish I enjoyed it more.

Came off a little preachy, but I enjoyed the premise well enough. Weak cast, but a light enough watch.

Cute premise, but didn’t really go anywhere. Minimal character development, minimal jokes.

Just dreadful. Writing, most of the acting, and the plot were just bottom barrel.

Not as stupidly offensive as some of the other ones, but still pretty bad.

An ok adaptation that didn't really lean into its setting. Some nice performances, but sort of an empty script.

Was incredibly slow. Not particularly beautiful. Everyone looked weird and nothing really happened.

Had its charming moments, but was a little too childish for my liking.

Great performances and cinematography, but a lackluster plot and pacing. Definitely a step outside of his usual, and the weakest of his 3.

Honestly pretty boring. No one learned anything. 15 minutes of plot spread over 90 minutes. Some nice montages and music, but otherwise not much going for it.

An interesting take on the classic story. Lot of wistful staring and lackluster songs

Little slice of life about people maybe falling in love. Charming at bits, but overall pretty bland and low budget. Some ok songs, but it was fairly repetitive. Female lead was pretty weak, too.

Had its moments, but was a little too gross.

Glacially slow, but a great cast.

Had its moments, but failed to be more than a kids movie. Was needlessly childish and silly for too much time. I get it- that's the target audience. But it didn't have to be that way.

Had heart and a couple of great performances, but didn’t really hit the plot notes that it was shooting for. Definitely cute in the end, but didn’t feel like it had earned it.

Great cast and decent premise, but it didn't feel like it really went anywhere.

Had its moments, but I didn't find it as funny as some of her others.

Most of it did not age well, but bits of it were very charming.

Pretty dumb, but an interesting look back at a very specific time in our history. Some neat designs and shots, but very weird color grading.

Had a couple of very charming bits and an absolutely stacked cast, but really didn’t go anywhere or have much substance worth writing home about. Definitely a miss.

A couple of good jokes, a couple of bad ones. Some cute bits, but didn’t land for me.

Where the second one was bad, this one was mostly boring (with like, 2 good scenes).

Pretty dumb and a little wooden, but had a nice heart buried in there.

Either fighting or taking and nothing in between. Weak on themes. A couple of cool shots, but mostly… worse than the first one.

It felt weirdly... disjoint and heartless? Plot threads were all over the place. Very pretty and cool fight choreo, but felt more like a DC movie

Sort of saccarine and offensive at parts, but there were some sort of touching moments in there.

Energetic and chaotic, but almost too much. Basically 2 hours of yelling. Great performances though.

Very Swedish. Slow and beautiful, but sorely lacking in like, plot motion.

Great cast and performances. Interesting concept. But, more of a vibe than a plot. Didn't feel like it really went anywhere.

Pretty doofy and cheesy, but had a decent premise.

This was a movie designed around 3D and CGI, neither of which aged well. The rest of the plot was weak, nothing was worthwhile.

Has some of the charm of the first one and maybe a better cast, but it's a less coherent plot and is too cheesy.

Too many characters, dense plot, great cast, good music. Long.

Lots of characters and they don't quite add up. Villain design was pretty gross, and not in a good way. There was some cool visual design though with slo-mo and Emma stone was good.

It had some briefly compelling parts, but had way too many characters. The dancing scene is as bad as I remember.

Had some interesting cinematography and framing, but was sort of a mess.

Couple of good jokes and a good cast! But sort of nonsense otherwise. Forgettable music.

Sort of cute, very old-timey musical. Good cast, but a lot of the songs were duds.

Some good fight choreo, but lots of bad CGI, characters, plot, and basically everything else.

Neat enough world building, good cast. Rote story and mostly boring plot though. Cute enough for kids, but lacks staying power. Not really an Easter movie

Muppets being so bawdy was sort of funny, but it didn't really come together in a satisfying way. There were a couple of good puppet specific gags, but mostly wasted potential on a thin racism metaphor.

This one had a lot of potential but didn't quite land. Really interestingly shot, interspersed with good noir tropes and odd cutaways. Some ok characters and great costumes and set. But, story was lacking.

Doesn't really hold up as a satisfying sequel. Some cute moments, an ok plot eventually, but a letdown after the first.

Felt unfocused. Too many villains, too cheesy (even for this), ultimately a boring plot.

Actually pretty decent first half, but the fight scenes weren't great and the villain didn't hold up. Very mid 2000s movie.

A multi-person stand up special set in a funeral home for 2020. Some bits were good, but it felt pretty flat

It was good, but felt rushed. They cut it pretty far down and it ended abruptly. Good performances, especially Umbridge. Did well with what it put in, but felt a little empty. It would be another one I'd be lost by without the book.

Still real bad. Pretty unredeemable.

Absolute mess. Bad action scenes. Some cool design, but it was lost in sub-par writing and performances.

This felt like a weaker movie- it left a lot of detail out to keep to the action scenes, which is understandable, but left the movie wanting. Superb performance from Tennant.

Nice enough, but clearly not an animated classic. Pretty forgettable songs and erratic performances

I understand that every movie isn't for me and this one definitely isn't. It felt like a fever dream where there are snippets of 8 plots, none of which are resolved.

If it were any slower, it would have been playing backwards. It had its moments, but it was largely very boring.

Visually great, but story and character growth really weren't there, which was a disappointment after the first one.

Really boring and uninteresting? Characters were fine but we don't get invested in anything. Great graphics, but really nothing else going for it.

It's drop-dead gorgeous, but that's really all it has going for it. The story never clicks and it's the same few peril points over and over.

Cute, good soundtrack. Ironically, doesn't hit the same emotional heights as some of the other Pixar movies.

Cute, but unfocused. Little brothers were funny.

Had its moments but it wasn't terribly compelling. I don't love Mater. There were some cool spy sections though, and it was drop dead gorgeous.

Hard to follow, no music, cool fight scenes and a good cast. Felt sort of... hollow?

Not a lot of narrative. Decent footage and narration, but there's better docs.

Like a worse beetlejuice, and I don't like beetlejuice. Great cast, but a nonsense story, gross stunts, and a couple of cute scenes.

Really great performances, but not narratively satisfying. Bummer, because it's totally the sort of thing I would have expected to enjoy

Great sound and camera work. Weird story that didn't feel great narratively. Paced pretty well though and plenty of very gross bits. There were some visual effects that made me sort of seasick

There are bits of this I like, but a lot of it is crass and creepy in a way I don't enjoy.

Effects look surprisingly good! Jokes aren't great and the story doesn't have much going on, but it's not terrible.

It definitely had some cool action, but the story was uncompelling and the characters had basically no development. Also not a musical. Honestly would have been stronger if it was a standalone movie with no ties to the original. Nice representation in the cast though, so it has that going for it!

Has some cute jokes, but none of the charm of the first one. Death is pretty funny, but I could leave the rest.

Had it moments, but was mostly sort of boring

There's definitely some great jokes and scenes. Basically everyone but Amy Schumer is great. She doesn't come off as likable at all, indefinitely. Honestly a great cast.

Mostly bad, but had a couple of great Guy Ritchie scenes.

A couple of cute jokes, but mostly forgettable

Truly dreadful. Clearly he wanted to make a Japanese crime movie but had to keep putting car scenes in. Totally unlikeable main character made it hard to root for anyone but Han. Who dies. What a mess.

Kind of boring again. Lots of high octane action, but the plot itself was underwhelming. Actually some good emotional development with characters now that we've seen so dang many of these.

These are becoming even more forgettable. This had a couple of good scenes drowned out by a bunch of forgettable ones. Very little character work.

This one is more of a mess. Not an unenjoyable one, but much worse dialogue and characters.

Cute, but no real twist or hook. Sort of and odd set of conditions on the money. None of the characters are particularly memorable, but it was decent background sound. It also didn't feel like anyone learned anything.

The lame Saturday morning cartoon of a better, interesting story. Worse animation, too.

Decent enough, but not super compelling from a character or arc perspective. Wasn't much of a twist and all the action scenes were just them reading out numbers.

Bad pacing, way too many characters, no one was really worth rooting for.

Story felt unfocused and none of the characters felt particularly likable. Definitely an interesting look into the 90's though